You don't fit in?

You Don’t Fit In? Good. You’re Not Supposed To.

Here’s a confession: I’ve spent most of my 44 years trying to wedge myself into boxes I didn’t even like. Jobs where I’d plaster on a fake smile, friend groups where I’d nod along to stuff I didn’t care about, even that one time I wore a tie for a whole day and felt like a penguin in a chokehold. Spoiler alert: it never worked. I’d wiggle out, crack a weird joke, or just quietly bounce when no one was looking. And you know what? I’m done apologizing for it. If you don’t fit in either, stick with me—this one’s for you.

We’ve been sold a lie that “fitting in” is the goal—like life’s a giant jigsaw puzzle and we’re all supposed to snap into place, edges perfectly aligned. But here’s the truth I’ve learned (and maybe you have too): we’re not puzzle pieces. We’re not even close. We’re wild, messy, one-of-a-kind creators, and trying to fit in is like asking a comet to dim its glow so it doesn’t outshine the streetlights. Nah, we’re meant to blaze.

The Myth of the Perfect Fit

Think about it: who decided “fitting in” was the gold star anyway? Somewhere along the line, we got handed this script—be agreeable, blend in, don’t rock the boat. But when I look back at my job-hopping, oddball-chasing life, the moments I felt most alive were when I ‘didn’t' fit. Like that time I turned a boring meeting into a brainstorming party (half the room loved it, half glared—worth it). Or when I ditched a “stable” gig because it was sucking the soul out of me. Not fitting in wasn’t failure—it was my compass.

What about you? Where’s one place you’ve tried to fit that felt like wearing someone else’s shoes? Too tight, too stiff, not your style? Let’s flip the script: maybe that mismatch wasn’t a flaw—it was a clue.

You’re a Creator, Not a Copy

Ever read The Four Agreements? That “Always do your best” line sticks with me because it’s not about doing what they want—it’s about doing what’s true to you. We’re not here to churn out carbon copies of someone else’s life. We’re here to create—our way. Maybe your creation is a loud laugh that turns heads, or a quiet kindness that shifts someone’s day. Maybe it’s a wild idea no one’s tried, or a tiny habit (shoutout to Atomic Habits) that stacks into something epic. Point is, you’re not a factory widget—you’re a spark.

I’ve always been a yes-and guy. Someone tosses out a crazy idea, and I’m like, “Yes, and let’s make it weirder!” That’s where the magic happens—not in the safe, same-old middle, but out on the edges where the unique stuff lives. What’s one thing you do that’s so you it could never fit in a mold? Celebrate that. It’s your creator’s mark.

The World Needs Your Weird

Here’s a secret: the world doesn’t actually want you to fit in. Oh, it might grumble when you don’t follow the rules or color outside the lines, but deep down? It’s starving for the real you. I’ve met the wildest, most wonderful people—the ones who don’t fit, who zig when everyone zags—and they’re the ones who change things. They’re the ones I’m drawn to, the ones who make me laugh, think, and feel alive. You’ve got that in you too.

Think of Man’s Search for Meaning—Viktor Frankl didn’t survive the unimaginable by blending in. He found purpose in the chaos, his own way. You don’t have to go through hell to get this, though. You just have to stop pretending you’re normal (whatever that means). What’s one quirky, special thing you bring that the world would miss if you hid it? That’s your gift—unwrap it.

The Freedom of Not Fitting

Let’s be real: not fitting in can feel lonely sometimes. You might look around and wonder why everyone else seems to have their spot while you’re still wandering. I’ve been there—44 years of it. But here’s the flip side: when you stop trying to fit, you get free. Free to say no to what drains you. Free to say yes to what lights you up. Free to be the playful, big-hearted, slightly-offbeat soul you were always meant to be.

I used to think “Man up” meant sucking it up and fitting in. Now? It’s about owning my path, even when it’s messy. “If it’s to be, it’s up to me”—that’s my tattoo-worthy truth. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s story—you get to write your own. So, what’s one rule you’re ready to break? One box you’re done squeezing into? Toss it out. You’re too big, too bright, too you for that.

Your Tribe Is Out There

Here’s the best part: when you stop trying to fit in, you find your people. Not the ones who want you to shrink, but the ones who cheer when you shine. I’ve found my weirdos—the dreamers, the misfits, the ones who get my goofy grin and giving heart. They don’t care if I don’t fit; they love that I don’t. You’ve got a tribe like that waiting too. They’re the 30-40-year-olds (or any age, really) who are lost, searching, ready to laugh and grow with you. Start showing up as you—they’ll find you.

One Tiny Step to Start

You don’t need a grand plan to ditch the “fit in” game. Just take one tiny step. Say something true today that you’d usually hold back. Wear the shirt that’s “too loud” (mine’s got flamingos—judge me). Crack that joke no one else gets but makes you snort. Stack those little wins, and watch what happens. You’re not lost—you’re waking up. And I’m over here, fist-bumping the air, rooting for every unique, special, creator-y bit of you.

So, tell me—what’s your first move? What’s one way you’re ready to not fit in today? Hit me with it. I’m all in for this wild, wonderful ride of being us.